Over the last few days, I have really been thinking about the time I have spent here as I approach the halfway point of my year long commitment. I've been thinking a lot about the things I've done, things I haven't done, and things I wish to accomplish during the 2nd half. It has really been a great assessment process, especially during the season of lent. I have been going back to orientation and asking the question, "why did I initially sign up for this and what did I want to accomplish, and how am I doing at accomplishing this?"
The motto of the SLM program is "finding Christ in the face of a child" and this is something that was high on my list of things to accomplish. I wanted to experience the poor, life, and Jesus in a completely different way than in America. I wanted to work with the poorest of the poor and try to gain an insight into what life is like for the least of my brothers. This is something that I encounter on a daily basis, but it is always in a different manner. Sometimes, it is in the beautiful smile of a child with missing teeth. Sometimes, it is in a 6 year old girl teaching her 3 year old sister the proper way to genuflect and make the sign of the cross when entering into a church. Sometimes it is in the gentle touch of a child's hand while praying the rosary. Sometimes it is seeing the children play with such joy that you would never know that they haven't eaten all day. Sometimes it is the children reaching out to me, other times it is me reaching out to them. Everywhere I go, Christ is in the face of these magnificent children and I am surrounded by His love and feel it in everyone of the children here (even the troublemakers)
While at orientation, we wrote a personal mission statement. While I could not find mine to get the exact words, it was something along the lines of "do not be afraid to love and be loved, to teach and be taught, to change and be changed, to give and to receive, to both be and do. Do not be afraid." Changing others while being changed myself have definitely been a part of my time here. I think of the changes in the students at the school as they have improved each and every day. Not just with their learning of book knowledge, but their learning of values such as discipline, respect, and ability to link the future with the present. Just the other day, there was a student that was talking loudly in class. Before I could say anything, one of the other students spoke up and said "you need to be quiet and respect the teacher. We're trying to learn English." 6 months ago, that would have been unheard of. I couldn't have said it better and the slow transformation of the students has been awesome to be a part of. As far as changes for me, I feel I have definitely changed in a lot of ways, mainly with my views about life and how it should be spent, and I think those will really be revealed to me with my visit to America next week and will write on those later.
So far, things have been life changing in South Sudan and been an amazing journey. There have been a fair share of struggles, frustrations and misunderstandings, but they have contributed to the growth process and are a part of life, especially life on mission. The appreciation I have for basic needs, my definition of need and want, and gratitude for life will never be the same. While I still have 6 months to complete my mission, continue to do and constantly get better at some things, continue to cut some things out of my life, it has been an unforgettable journey. I'm living on a prayer for another life-changing 6 months.
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