Monday, August 27, 2012

The journey continues

Whew!  What a month is has been and there is so much to share!  For just over three weeks, I was in New York for orientation as I continue to prepare for my life as a missionary in South Sudan.  The time spent there was filled with one learning experience after another.  Learning about all of my fellow SLM's (Salesian Lay Missioners) and how amazing and awesome their faith journeys have been and continue to be.  Learning about what it means to be a Salesian and live a life in the spirit of Don Bosco.  Learning about transition, letting things go, saying goodbye, the ups and downs of mission life.  Learning about the ginormous collection of buildings and people they call New York City.  Learning about ourselves, how we got to this blessed point in our lives, where we want to go and who we want to be in the future as we continue to grow each and every day while on mission.  Learning about the love that Jesus has for us and how we can share that love by being present with everyone we encounter.  It was a truly blessed time with some unbelievable people that was filled with so much joy and countless memories.

This past week, I started putting that learning into action!  I spent a few days up in Davenport wrapping up some final things and saying goodbye to so many people that have a special place in my heart and that I will miss dearly.  It was great seeing everyone, but also sad and difficult to say goodbye. It was a little crazy going here, there and everywhere, but it was extremely reassuring to know all of the support and prayers that will be coming from that area!  I thank you all for everything you have done!

The last couple of days has been spent back in Chatham and has been more of the same- running around and seeing as many people as I can!  Yesterday was an unbelievable time as they did a blessing for me and my ministry at mass and I had a ton of family and friends show up to support and pray for me.  Again, the outrcy of support and well wishes from the community was just amazing.  After mass, my parents hosted a going away party that was again bittersweet.  It is always a great blessing to be able to see so many family members and friends, but I really suck at saying goodbye!  I want to thank you all who came out to support me as it is all of the support and prayers from everyone that will provide the strength and energy that is needed when times are tough!  Thanks again!

Over the past couple of days, I have been thinking a lot about the grace of God and His blessings from a couple of different perspectives.  Over the course of my life, I have always been very blessed.  Blessed with the most awesome family and friends anyone can ask for.  Blessed with so many tremendous opportunities to do almost anything I wanted to in life, whether it be in church, school, or sports.  I've been blessed with a number of talents and gifts and the ultimate blessing of life.  The last month has been one reminder of these blessings after another. I have often times questioned the worthiness of these blessings- Why me? I have messed up countless times throughout my life yet the blessings continued to be showered upon me.  I sometimes feel like Wayne and Garth in Wayne's World bowing down and saying "We're not worthy!  We're not worthy!" (By the way, I just decided I will have a movie quote in every blog post- just a little warning!).  However, yesterday while I was at mass praying before the celebration began, I was staring up at the crucifix.  Here was Jesus, with holes in his hands and feet, staring down at me with his arms wide open and I swear I could see a huge smile beaming from his face.  It then hit me hard.  Despite the mistakes I've made and holes in Jesus feet, he is there to love me with open arms and it is out of his unconditional love for us that these blessings come from- he loves us anyway.  Even more amazingly, all he asks of us is to love him back and love all of his people of this world and to be his hands and feet.  I pray that when people see and talk to me, they can see Jesus and His work, and not Luke Ebener.  I pray that I can use the blessings bestowed upon me to be a blessing to the people of South Sudan.

This led to many more thoughts as I am now 6 days away from leaving for South Sudan.  I have been thinking a lot about my upcoming work and mission in South Sudan and the children and adults I will be serving.  When I was in New York, there was a very small "waterpark", which was a part of a larger park across the street from where we stayed.  It was basically a slab of concrete that was equipped with various water fountains, sprinklers, and water toys for the kids to run through and cool off on a hot summer day.  One afternoon, another SLM and I couldn't help ourselves and we decided to stop by and run through the waterpark with all the kiddos (some people would say we are inmature, we prefer to look it as accepting Jesus challenge to be "child-like").  Anyway, we weren't there for 5 minutes before we were the catalysts of an all out water war.  We were running around filling water bottles, cups, anything that could be used to dump water on the opponents.  Very early on in the "recruiting process", there was a little girl who came up to me and said, "I trust you to be on your team, and you should trust me too."  This got me thinking about how important the trust of a child is and how trusting a child can be as she put her complete trust in me after only knowing me for a few short minutes.  While this was quite humbling, it was also a wake-up call and challenge to truly be the hands and feet of Jesus and for people to see Jesus in everything I do, as children are always looking up to you and me.  The question I was asking myself was "How do I do this?"  More recently, the question was, "How do I use these blessings to be a blessing in return and be more like Jesus?

Well, yesterday after mass, I was speaking to some of the community members of my church and a lady whom I have never met or seen before came up to me.  She said "I do not know you and you do not know me.  I was observing you before mass began and throughout the entire service and I could tell there was something special about you and that God was working through you.  I then saw you come up for the blessing and I was not surprised at all that you were going to be a missionary.  I wanted to wish you the best of luck and I know God will be with you on your journey.  God bless."  Another prayer answered.  It is in the little things in life that people see Jesus working through you and me.  We do not have to do great and abundant things, just "small things with great love", as Mother Teresa was known for saying.  If I can use the blessings God has so graciously given to me to do the little things in South Sudan and love and be present to the children, I will have served my purpose, and God will continue to smile down on me and His people and send down an overflowing cup of blessings. 

Thanks again for all the loving support, king thoughts, and heartfelt prayers you have given me as I cannot thank you enough.  May God continue to bless each and every one of you.